Today, I’m reviewing the autobiography Even the Good Girls Will Cry by Melissa Auf der Maur, former bassist for Hole and the Smashing Pumpkins.
Title: Even the Good Girls Will Cry
Series: N/A
Author: Melissa Auf der Maur
Genre(s): Autobiography, Memoir, Rock ‘n’ Roll
Length: 123,000 words/304 pages
Release Date: March 17, 2026
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Blurb: Even the Good Girls Will Cry begins with Melissa Auf der Maur’s bohemian upbringing in Montreal, where her early, deep connection to art and music gave her entry to the colorful and thriving local creative scene. Working as a cassette DJ and ticket girl, she would see (and sometimes meet) the luminaries who’d pass through town—Nirvana, Jane’s Addiction, Pavement, Sonic Youth. Thanks to a thrown beer bottle and a long-shot fan letter to a PO Box, her band Tinker scored a life-changing opening slot for The Smashing Pumpkins and, sensing her natural talent on bass, Billy Corgan recommended her to Courtney Love, just one of the many uncanny threads that weaves destiny throughout this riveting memoir.
Whisked from her local scene and thrust into the eye of a hurricane of grief on a global stage, Melissa joined Hole for the band’s 1994 Live Through This world tour just after the deaths of Kurt Cobain and Hole’s prior bassist, Kristen Pfaff, with Courtney Love at the center of it all. It was a tour of passionate intensity, as a chaotic yet stunningly powerful band constantly threatened to spin out of control. Melissa brings the reader with raging intimacy into the action, offering a heroic portrait of the unforgettable Courtney Love as she howled into the darkness as if to keep grief at bay.
That was only the beginning of Melissa’s journey through alternative rock. Part rock memoir, part travel diary, part psychedelic scrapbook, Even the Good Girls Will Cry is a behind-the-scenes rock ’n’ roll memoir with a soulful intimacy and mystic undertone that sets it apart from memoirs by her peers. It is a vivid dispatch from the last analog decade, artistically capturing that bygone era in all its messy, angsty glory.
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I really enjoy reading about women in the rock ‘n’ roll industry. I love learning about everyone from musicians and journalists to A&R executives, groupies, wives, and girlfriends. So, when Melissa Auf der Maur’s book became available, I was completely in. I have always loved the band Hole, and I was looking forward to reading about their bass player. She did not disappoint.
Melissa covers her entire life, starting with her grandparents and leading all the way to the present day. She includes everyone. I found the lives of her mother and father very interesting since they had a big hand in shaping who she became. I also loved using Montreal, the lovely city where she was born, as the backdrop for her early life.
Both of her parents were atheists, yet Melissa became a very spiritual person. I will admit that I bypassed the sections about her dreams and deep philosophy because that style is just not for me. However, these passages are rare and do not take up a lot of the book. Don’t let that put you off. You can easily skip those brief sections and still thoroughly enjoy her life story.
I particularly loved her perspective on being a woman in the music business. She offers a fantastic look at touring, life on the road, and the many places she lived. I also loved reading about her relationships with her bandmates: Courtney, Patty, and Eric. Mind you, she didn’t say much about Eric since he seemed to keep to himself.
She details the writing and recording of the album Celebrity Skin as well. As a music nerd, I loved learning how the songs came about, Billy Corgan’s influence, and the producer they used.
Her friendship with Courtney is another highlight. I have always adored Courtney Love, and seeing her through Melissa’s eyes made me like her even more.
Then there are her romantic relationships. They are few and far between, but her romance with Dave Grohl was a fun surprise since I had no idea they had been a couple! Don’t expect her to drop names about who else she has been with, though. She keeps that part of her life quiet.
I especially loved her fight for independence. She was determined to be her own woman, just like her mother, and she never gave in until she felt ready to settle down. You go, girl!
She doesn’t come across as a rigid feminist. Instead, she comes across as a woman determined to live life on her own terms. I found myself really liking her.
I highly recommend giving this memoir a read. Yes, it can bog down now and then, but it is entirely worth it. Do yourself a favour and pick up a copy.
