Today, I’m hosting and reviewing author Jaap Cové’s latest release Boy One, an LGBTQ+ memoir.
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Title: Boy One
Series: N/A
Author and Publisher: Jaap Cové
Genres: Gay, M/M Memoir, non-fiction
Tropes: Secret love
Themes: Coming out, shame, fear, intergenerational relationships
Release Date: April 1, 2024
Length: 55 000 words/ 203 pages
Heat Rating: 3 flames
Coming of age inside the controversial world of the Spartacus Gay Guide.
Blurb: It is 1981. Jaap, a Dutch teenager, is a boy taking his first steps towards becoming a man. He’s reclusive, a wallflower with a handsome face and curly blond hair. He loves playing tennis and plays drums for a student rock band.
He is attracted to men and afraid of desires that he has not acted upon. By fortuitous accident, the Dutch teen meets Briton John D. Stamford, and his life changes. Stamford is the eccentric middle-aged editor of Spartacus International Gay Guide, the crucial book for gay male travelers. It listed both welcoming destinations and countries that carried strict penalties for homosexuality.
Jaap likes mature men; John prefers youths. BOY ONE is the record of their relationship, the deluxe global travel they did for John’s work, the eye-opening experiences of a sheltered teen, and the obsessive sexual relationship that developed.
Amid the glamor of five-star hotels and restaurants, conflicts arise. Jaap still thinks about having a girlfriend and wonders if he is bisexual. John is trying to push his young lover into something he’s not ready for—being openly gay all the time. Moreover, Jaap notices the Spartacus Guide lists opportunities for sex with underaged youths in places like Thailand. He suspects this is wrong. So do the police, who begin investigating John.
Despite the excitement and eroticism of their relationship, the moral issues grow until the two are at odds.
In BOY ONE, Jaap Cové tells the honest and gripping story of a remarkable part of his life. Revealing and outspoken, it is a unique, colorful and compelling coming-of-age story. It captures the excitement of international gay life in the early 80s, but it is also a troubling saga about morality and intergenerational relationships.
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John picks me up at the airport with a taxi. We drop my bag in the RV that’s parked just outside Basel’s old center, but don’t stay there. John has other plans. I’m in for a romantic weekend. It’s snowy and below freezing point. I never expected the city to be so beautiful, or is it because we’re together again? We lunch in an upscale Konditorei, then walk arm in arm past the historical buildings in the old center. People on the pavement glare at us, but John doesn’t let go of my arm. It feels warm and safe. We visit the Gothic church and head to the quay of the river Rhine, where we kiss. There are people watching, which makes it more exciting. Protected by John, I don’t feel any embarrassment. I exist in a constant state of being crazy in love.
He takes me to my first gay sauna in the old town to warm up. As we enter a dimly-lit steam room, I lose John in the mist. In no time, there are many hands all over my body, touching my ass, my cock and my torso. I am scared.
As I adjust to the light, I look into the faces of the young men groping me and start to panic. I want to break free, but they won’t let me. Someone shoves his tongue between my lips. I wriggle to get away from the mass of bodies. Just as I reach the point of using force, I feel a hand pull me from the crowd. John pulls me close and embraces me. He smiles and tries to calm me.
‘You didn’t like that?’ he asks.
‘No, I panicked.’
‘Come, let’s get out of here.’
He takes me to a private room where we make love on a rubber bed covered with towels. Our session isn’t long and elaborate as it would have been in the RV. It turns me on just the same. I’m quickly positioned on my belly by his big hands, feeling the cold KY-jelly on my ass, after which he carefully pushes his warm cock inside. Pleasing John, giving my lover what he wants, in the way he wants it, excites me. I become hard as a rock. This man owns me when we make love.
Downstairs in the bar area later, we have a drink. I play with the thought that John planned the episode in the steam room. At the same time, the thought is ridiculous. I can’t imagine him telling all those guys that his lover from Holland would be visiting, and asking them to give me a warm welcome.
‘It was almost like they were waiting for me,’ I say. ‘All those hands on me.’
‘Why is that strange? Have you looked in the mirror lately?’
‘Huh?’
‘You’re very handsome, Jake. You’re a fucking knockout.’
I don’t know what to say, since no one ever told me that. I know I’m not ugly, but a knockout? I’m tall and slender, not muscled. And I’ve always been on the shy side, not confident about my looks. All my life people have told me that my blond curls are beautiful. But women couldn’t keep their hands off my hair when I was a young boy and I didn’t enjoy that.
‘And you have such a hot ass,’ he adds with a big smile. Then he kisses me.
As I take a sip of my drink, I think about how my life has changed. In less than three months, I have made the metamorphosis from Dordrecht wallflower to Basel knockout. My self-esteem balloons.
But something is gnawing at me.
‘So when you’re here on your own, I suppose those hands are on you, too, right?’
‘Why do you ask?’
‘I don’t like that thought.’
‘No, that doesn’t happen to me. I’m getting too old, Jake. Older gay people are less appealing in this world. You’ll find out.’
‘I find that hard to believe. When you walk around here naked, people look.’
‘I’m glad you think so.’ He smiles and looks past me, like he’s checking out the other guys. ‘But to answer your real question, yes, I do play around when I’m on my own.’
‘What… you mean, you still do, even though we’re lovers?’
‘Yes.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Remember that black kid we met in a bar in Nice on our last evening? I fucked him soon after you left.’
That’s a sudden bucket of ice water. I put down my drink and sit frozen. I want to go home. Now.
John continues sipping his drink. ‘It’s all right, Jake; it meant nothing. I love you.’
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I enjoy memoirs and autobiographies, so when Gay Book Promotions offered a chance to read and review Boy One, I signed up immediately, having read another memoir previously offered by the blog tour company.
The author doesn’t disappoint. He takes us to the beginning when he’s a young boy, confused about how he feels and what he enjoys—skipping rope with his best girl friends and dressing up. Even though it feels right at the time, he also senses something is wrong, especially when it comes to older men.
He falls so hard for two that could’ve crossed a certain line that I worried for the author. Thank goodness these men are good, and nothing happened during a time when the author was very young and innocent. But this is something the author will reflect on when he’s older and in Thailand.
I felt for the author as he took me through his teen years. He is lost, unsure of what to do and where to turn. How can he establish a career when he doesn’t know who he truly is? That’s impossible. So he flounders. That is until he comes across a gay handbook. When he calls the number, his world changes.
During those years he struggles. With his lover, he embraces who he is, but also begins living two different lives. He’s a good young man, and easy to root for, and I found myself rooting that he’d find his path. There are many ups and downs for him.
I don’t want to say much else or I’ll spoil it for others. I found the author to be a sympathetic person, lost and confused, fighting to establish his true identity that he tries to deny. This is a well-written memoir of growth, self-learning, and coming out. The author wrote it for other confused youths, but I think many can benefit from reading his story. It gave me a deeper understanding of his life as a gay man.
I recommend you give it a read. It’s short but packs plenty of stories. He doesn’t judge others. He judges what they do that is wrong. I found myself liking the author, and hoping he’d get his HEA.
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Jaap Cové (1962) studied anthropology and debuted in 2011 with his novel Walking Among Us, followed by Cajú (2012) and The Girl in the Web (2017). Dog Gone (2023) was his first nonfiction narrative. Boy One is his first memoir.
From my website: Jaap Cové is an anthropologist, a drummer, a flautist, a globetrotter, and an author of fiction and nonfiction. His novels are filled with mystery, spirituality, symbolism and music. His nonfiction is a reflection of his eventful life.
Follow Jaap: Blog/Website | Facebook | Instagram
Maggie Blackbird 